Sometimes it takes a long time to learn the lesson God is trying to teach… For me, this is especially true as it pertains to taking care of myself. On days when I feel well, I want to do everything… and I mean everything…. Last weekend, on Sunday morning I woke up feeling like I was ready to tackle the world. We decided to go for a bike ride, I have been a biker for years and thought sure, i can totally do this 🙂 Now, the smart thing, would have been to choose to go on a short bike ride, after being sedentary with chemo for months… nope, not me… remember, i am the one that has trouble learning… We decided to go on a 40 mile ride. (38 actually) 19 miles to Martinsdale, eat breakfast, ride back home. I knew I would be getting tired along the way, so we decided to take it slow and take breaks as needed. When we were out from Martinsdale about 5 miles, I noticed some gorgeous patches of iris’s running parallel to the trail (two patches each about 30′ in diameter). They were so beautiful, I asked Gerry if he saw the patches of Iris. And I went on about how gorgeous they were, in full bloom, yada yada. Well, I did such a good job talking about how wonderful they were, Gerry decided to turn around and look at what he missed… oops, when he did, there was a little swerve, we bumped bikes and I was a little too weak to keep it up, down i went. 😦 Gerry still feels very badly about the accident and immediately offered to ride home, get the truck and pick me up… but of course you remember me, the one that has trouble learning … toughed it out and rode back ….
Once we got back home, it was time to clean up and take Anna out for her graduation dinner. Yes, I should have been going straight to bed. The next day, was sick all day, gradually getting worse each day until Saturday I ended up getting two units of blood. Yes, I am my own worst enemy. Had I just gone for a short ride, gradually building up my stamina, I would have been much better off. Did I learn, nope, not me, Sunday after receiving blood, I felt great, decided it would be a perfect day to work in the yard, weeding, pruning, etc. Of course, the smart person, would have done this in moderation, not me, worked from 11:30 – 7:30, you guessed it, felt very poorly for several days 😦
Lesson learned? I would like to tell you yes, I have learned the lesson God is so patiently trying to teach me, but i won’t lie, I am not sure that is the case. Being a type-A personality, I have two speeds… 100 mph and 0 mph, with moderation not even in my vocabulary.
When it comes to rest and relaxation, i am worse than a two year old fighting a nap. Thanks to a very wise boss, I am now on a Leave of Absence. In hind sight, I should have taken a leave earlier. While I have been going through chemo I have had a tough time with side effects and very low energy, still try to be everything for everyone. Knowing that I don’t have the strength to do it all and stressing myself out because I am not giving 150% I was burning my candle at ends I didn’t even have. Yes, I am learning, yes, I am getting more rest, and yes, I believe that I am getting stronger, I just need to keep me out of my way to wellness . . . LOL
Through God’s strength, I am learning to slow down, take it easy, remember there is tomorrow, and take time to heal. I know that I will be stronger than ever, as long as I give myself the rest my body is so desperately seeking. Only short bike rides until my strength is built back up and yard work in moderation, which doesn’t mean 7 or 8 hours… In to bed early, out of bed late, it is o.k. to rest, it is o.k. to leave a dirty dish in the sink and it is o.k. to leave laundry in the hamper…